Relationships

Relationships - Domestic Abuse

What is a relationship?

A state of being related or connected
Association by blood or marriage
The mutual dealings, connections or feelings that exist between people

What is domestic abuse?

The use or threat of physical, sexual, emotional and other forms of abuse by one person over another with whom they have or have had a close intimate relationship with by using power in order to control that person.

Forms of domestic abuse

Physical - Hitting, biting, punching, kicking, burning, using objects, throwing objects, slapping, hair pulling, spitting
Sexual - sexual assault, forced sexual activity, rape
Verbal - Name calling, constantly putting down, criticism, humiliation, fear of silence, harassment, shouting
Emotional - Criticism, humiliation, threats, removal of friendship group, mind games, guilt trip, prevention from visiting friends or family, controlling what clothes you wear, harassment, isolation, constant checking up by phone or text.
Financial - Removal of financial independence, prevention of getting a job, no access to joint account

Relationships should be an equal partnership. If you experience any of the above - you don't have to put up with it!

Why do people stay in an abusive relationship?

They want the abuser to stop
They have children
They do not know what help is available
They think it's their fault
No confidence to start over
Security
Scared of being on their own
Low self esteem
They think their partner will change
They have nowhere to go
No job/Job
Threatened not to leave

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone but that doesn't mean you have to live with it

Healthy Relationships include;

Respect - Take responsibility for making sure we respect our partner
Effort - everyone needs to make an effort
Sharing - sharing caring and listening are so important!
Pleasing - Both parties in the relationship matter, not just our own views or choices
Equality - Treat each other equally
Consent - Just because you are in a relationship does not mean consent, make sure you are both deciding when being intimate
Trust - the foundation of a good relationship

Respect Checklist!

Willing to compromise
Lets you feel comfortable to be yourself
Able to admit being wrong
Resolves conflict by talking honestly
Enables you to feel safe being with them
Respects your feelings, opinions and your friends
Accepts you saying no to things you don't want to do
Accepts you changing your mind
Respects your wishes if you want to end the relationship

When someone loves you, you feel valued, respected and free to be yourself

Useful Contacts
Bexley Women's Aid - 0208 301 1536
Samaritans Bexley - 0208 301 1010
National Domestic Violence Helpline - 0808 2000 247
Galop (LGBT) - 0800 999 5428
Men's Advice Line - 0808 801 0372
Respect - 0808 802 4040 / 0808 801 0327